


Now or never

by jingyeomsheaven



Category: GOT7
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:09:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24842071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jingyeomsheaven/pseuds/jingyeomsheaven
Summary: Yugyeom had been hiding his secret for too long and he had enough. A sudden wave of courage made him think that it’s time to confess his feelings.
Relationships: Kim Yugyeom/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 9
Kudos: 59





	Now or never

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jingyeom nation](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=jingyeom+nation).



> I was on a roll and this happened. I sincerely want to thank my jingyeom nation who has been there for me, supporting me all the time. I love you guys. Please enjoy~

People often say that falling in love feels like floating in clouds. Well, for Yugyeom it felt like _drowning_.

He had been in love with Jinyoung for over two years now and it started to become _suffocating_. Yugyeom didn’t have any experience in dating, obviously holding hands with a girl when he was a kid doesn’t count. At the time when he was still attending school, he also didn’t have much time to think about this stuff. Some people caught his attention, but not to the point to make a move and care. Besides, his love at that time was dance and it hasn’t changed. The only thing that has changed though was the fact that he discovered a _new_ type of love.

When he joined JYP entertainment and met Jinyoung, he felt something different for the first time in his life. In the beginning, he thought it was just fascination, some platonic adoration, nothing more, nothing less. Then, as time passed, Yugyeom found himself staring at Jinyoung for too long. He caught himself thinking about him all day. His touches made his heart race like crazy, and it didn’t happen with other members’ touches. Somehow, Jinyoung’s compliments mattered the most and if he was pleased with his work – then Yugyeom felt truly proud of himself. By noticing all of these things, he realized he was in _love_.

Ar first he was completely content with the way how his and Jinyoung’s relationship looked. They were close. They often laughed together, they were sharing thoughts and problems. They could always count on each other. They were playful at times and their dynamic was incredible. The only problem was that after some time, Yugyeom wanted _more_. He knew that it was selfish, he felt guilty for thinking this way, he really did. At times he felt that maybe, _just_ maybe Jinyoung felt the same way about him. There were also days when his mind made him think “ _Get over it, he doesn’t love you._ ” His head was spinning.  
Each day looked the same. Each day made him fall even deeper for his hyung.

He had been hiding his secret for too long and he had _enough_. A sudden wave of courage made him think that it’s time to confess his feelings.

They were at the radio station, their last step of promoting a new album has come and they wanted to make the most out of it for the fans. It was fun, and all members seemed to enjoy it, except for Yugyeom, whose mind was clouded with thousands of words and ways in which he could confess to Jinyoung. He didn’t pay attention to the things going on around him, and Jinyoung noticed that. - “Hey” – he looked at him and put his hand on Yugyeom’s thigh reassuringly. “Is everything okay, Yugyeomie?” He asked gently and Yugyeom stiffened under his touch, which made Jinyoung frown a little. The younger never acted like this before. Something was going on for sure. Yugyeom cleared his throat “Y-yeah, I’m just tired. Couldn’t sleep well at night, I will be fine, don’t worry hyung.” he forced a smile and looked at the hand on his thigh, which quickly disappeared, making the pleasant warmth disappear along with it.

Usually, during a ride to the dorm, they had fun together by singing got7’s songs out loudly, by being playful with each other, teasing touches appearing here and there, but this time, Yugyeom was listening to the music on his headphones, looking out of the window, completely ignoring Jinyoung’s presence.  
Jinyoung, on the other hand, was staring at Yugyeom all the time. He knew something was off. This wasn’t Yugyeom’s usual behavior, and he didn’t buy his excuse with being tired. The younger knew he could tell him anything, so why he was hiding something right now? Or maybe, he indeed was tired, and it was just Jinyoung’s overprotective nature acting up? He decided to wait for Yugyeom to speak up, and if nothing changed, he would ask about the matter himself.

Yugyeom was sitting in his room, going through absolute hell. He thought that even the debut showcase wasn't as stressful, as the situation he was going through right now. He was about to confess to his crush after such a long time. Got7's members decided to go out to eat, and Jinyoung said that he had found an interesting book to read, so he didn't feel like joining them. As for Yugyeom, he made up another excuse about being exhausted and not feeling like moving a muscle, so with them both being alone in the dorm, it was like a perfect opportunity to finally do it.  
Yugyeom had been staring at the wall in his room for over an hour now and finally decided to move and go to Jinyoung's room. He got up from his bed, took a deep breath, and opened the door. His eyes immediately went wide, when he noticed that Jinyoung was standing there, in front of his room.  
"Hyung, what are you doing here?" - He asked, startled because suddenly his mind went completely blank. He had it all planned in his head - he was supposed to knock at Jinyoung room's door and sit next to him, then recite the whole monologue that he had prepared in his head but Jinyoung just ruined everything. His mind was an enormous mess.  
The fact that Jinyoug was wearing his reading glasses and his hair was tousled made everything harder. He looked so cozy and domestic that Yugyeom had to stop himself from hugging him tightly.  
"I wanted to talk with you, but it seems like our minds were in sync because you wanted to do the same, right?" - He winked, a playful smile on his lips. Yugyeom blushed and swallowed hard.  
"No, just wanted to go to the kitchen." He lied, his voice small. Jinyoung sighed.  
"Gyeom-ah, you know that you can always talk to me if anything's bothering you. I see that you are not yourself these days. You don't smile at all, you seem..absent. I am really worried." He said, his voice so soft and gentle as if speaking louder would break the delicate persona that Kim Yugyeom was.  
"Hyung, the thing is-" He started, and he realized that after all, he couldn't confess. He simply couldn't. The words were stuck in his throat, the sudden fear of humiliation has taken over him. "The promotion caused me a lot of stress this time. I just felt like I needed more practice to do my best. I know that I'm exaggerating, but this is how I felt and that's also why I was so weird these days. I will be fine, though." He forced a smile once again. feeling like that was the only thing that could save him now, when he was on verge of crying, thinking about how pathetic he was. Jinyoung was still looking at him softly and he ruffled his hair, as gently as ever, pulling him into a warm hug.  
"I can assure you that you did your best. Fans are always proud of you, we are always proud of you, and you always have _me_."  
With that conversation, Yugyeom knew he was done. They stayed like this, still in each other's arms, but the younger knew that if he remains in Jinyoung's hold any second longer, he will break in tears. He broke the hug and finally answered. "Thank you, hyung. I appreciate that. I think I will go for a walk to get some fresh air." He said and quickly excused himself, leaving Jinyoung puzzled, and certainly not calmer.

Yugyeom found himself sitting at the bar, resting his chin against his hand, just gazing at the dancefloor. The place was crowded, everyone was dancing, annoying couples making out here and there, and there was Yugyeom, alone and thinking about how fucked up his situation was.  
He usually didn't think that alcohol would solve his problems but this time, he simply didn't give a damn. He took the third shot of whatever the bartender gave him and he started feeling dizzy already. He noticed a guy sitting next to him, and he was surprised how much he resembled Jinyoung. Honestly, he probably didn't, but alcohol did its job. As soon as the guy spoke up, the whole illusion vanished.  
"A heartbreak?" - He chuckled - "That's tough, but maybe that's how it was supposed to be." The stranger tried to cheer Yugyeom up, failing miserably. He ordered a drink, with some weird name that Yugyeom has never heard of, and pushed a glass lightly towards him. "Here, it's my treat." He smiled and Yugyeom was too tired to argue and to refuse to accept someone paying for him. He quickly chugged a glass of the drink, which made a stranger break into an amused laugh. "Woah, woah, a tough player here!" He said and Yugyeom didn't answer him, already feeling how he was getting drunker. The beverage seemed to have much alcohol than the shots from before.

Jinyoung was trying to read his book, looking at the words, but he was just skipping through them with his eyes. His mind was occupied with the thoughts of Yugyeom and his behavior. It all just seemed so bizarre and didn't make any sense. Just as he was busy, thinking of the younger, his phone buzzed.

" _hHyung i am jsut a ltil bit druNK, csn you pick me u0? i am at tHEe b aR we oFften gO to :]/)_ "

When Jinyoung read Yugyeom's message, he immediately got up, eyebrows furrowed. He didn't have a good feeling about this.  
"Getting some fresh air, huh? What the hell is going on, Yugyeom" He thought and quickly left the dorm.

When Jinyoung entered the bar, he couldn't spot Yugyeom at first. The place was really loud and Jinyoung couldn't remember it ever being so crowded. The dancefloor was just a mass of people rubbing against each other and he had to push through them.

Then when he finally noticed _his_ Yugyeom dancing with some random guy, and that this random guy was touching _his_ Yugyeom's sides, holding him, something in him _snapped_. The younger could barely stand on his legs, clumsily steadying himself against the man. Jinyoung's jaw clenched and he quickly approached them, grabbing Yugyeom's wrist tightly, pulling him away from the stranger.  
"Are you in your right mind?! He is completely drunk and out of it. What the fuck are you doing?" He snarled, not giving a damn about people giving him looks. His eyes were dark with anger and Yugyeom could swear that he hadn't seen his hyung like that before in his life. He was so dizzy, barely processing what was going around him. He held onto Jinyoung tightly, familiar warmth making his heart flutter.  
"Listen, dude, I am just having fun, okay? I don't want any trouble." The man tried to explain himself but Jinyoung had none of it.  
"Then leave and have fun with someone else. He is _mine_. If I ever see you dare to try to lay a finger on him, you will deal with serious consequences. " He said, voice low and stern. Yugyeom's heart skipped a beat when he heard Jinyoung's words and he kept staring at him.  
The guy quickly left, not wanting to be involved in any drama, and Jinyoung's whole attention was on Yugyeom again.  
"I will take you home, Yugyeomie. We need to talk." He said and secured Yugyeom as they were walking out of the bar.

The whole drive was quiet, Yugyeom was taking glances at Jinyoung who was focused on driving, the look on his face was telling Yugyeom that the latter was disappointed with him. He suddenly grabbed the elder's hand and squeezed it. Jinyoung looked at him and laced their fingers, not saying anything yet.

When they got home, Jinyoung noticed that the others were still out, and he sighed in relief. It would be better if they didn't find about what happened. Yugyeom sobered up a little, which didn't mean he felt any better, he was just able to walk by himself without stumbling, but that was all. Jinyoung took him to his room and disappeared after that for a while. When he came back he said:  
"I prepared a bath for you, do you need any help or-"  
"It's fine hyung, I am sorry." He mumbled, feeling guilty. Jinyoung did everything for him. He took care of him and Yugyeom thought that he was being just an ungrateful brat. Maybe he didn't deserve him after all?  
"Okay..after you are done, we seriously need to..discuss some matters, and you know that." Yugyeom bit his lip and simply nodded.

That was it. No more _lies_. No more _excuses_. Just pure _truth_.

When he finished having a bath, he brushed his teeth as he still could feel the taste of alcohol in his mouth. He wore his pajama which consisted of black shorts and a black tank top, which originally was a t-shirt, but Yugyeom loved cutting and remaking his clothes so that they would show off his tattoos. He came back to Jinyoung's room and sat on the bed, next to him. He could only hear the sound of his own heart beating in the dark room.  
"First of all Yugyeom, who the hell was that guy? What were you even doing in that bar in the first place?" Jinyoung immediately asked, not even trying to hide his jealousy.  
"I just..I needed some fun and..he just bought me a drink and we ended up dancing, t-that's it." He said, not looking at his hyung, ashamed of himself. Jinyoung's blood boiled and he tried so hard not to raise his voice but he couldn't compose himself.

"You let a stranger buy you a drink? Damn it, Yugyeom, he could've drugged it, he could've done something, he-"

"But he didn't, I was sitting with him all the time, if you were there with me, you would know."

"That doesn't mean that you don't have to be careful. Yugyeom, he could've turned out to be some crazy fan."

"I know I am stupid, I know, I am sorry, okay?" He interrupted and his lip wobbled, tears pricking his eyes, and when Jinyoung noticed that, his heart clenched painfully. He cupped Yugyeom's cheeks, making him look up at him and he wiped a single tear that already managed to slide his beautiful cheek.  
"No, _love_ , I didn't mean it that way. I was just so worried, I feel like we are getting distant lately and it's driving me mad. You don't tell me what is bothering you anymore and I wonder if I ever made some mistake. When I saw you with that guy, I was trying so hard not to punch him in the face."  
He said, not even realizing, how easily the word _love_ slipped from his mouth. It just felt so natural to call Yugyeom this way. The latter, on the other hand, could only focus on that one word, which was echoing in his mind. His breath hitched and his heart was beating so loudly, that at this point he felt like even Jinyoung could hear it.  
"Could it be that..you were _jealous_?" He asked quietly.  
"And what if I was?"

 _Now or never_ \- Yugyeom thought to himself.

He put his hands on Jinyoung's ones that were still cupping his cheeks and he held them tightly, staring into his eyes.

"I am in _love_ with you, hyung." He said, voice loud and clear, and Jinyoung's eyes widened, but then softened. He wrapped his arms around Yugyeom's waist and placed a soft kiss on younger's _trust me_ tattoo as if trying to convey some sort of secret message. Yugyeom shivered, feeling Jinyoung's lips on his skin and he put his hands on his shoulders.  
"Jinyoungie - hyu-" He was about to say something, but Jinyoung interrupted him.  
"I am in love with you too. You don't need to explain anything. Yugyeom, I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this because of me. If I only wasn't such a coward, maybe it would turn out differently." He placed a tender kiss on his neck, and for now, it was too much for Yugyeom's brain. It was hard to process it all. Jinyoung _loved_ him back. He did.  
Yugyeom felt as if his cheeks were on fire, his eyes were shining and he felt tears starting to slip from them. A single sob wrenched through his body and Jinyoung pulled him in his arms, caressing his hair tenderly.  
"No, baby, shhh..it's all good now. It's okay, it's okay." They stayed like this for a while, Jinyoung whispering sweet nothings into Yugyeom's ear, waiting for him to calm down and relax, finally understanding perfectly just what the latter had been through. The emotions have taken over Yugyeom, and he just wanted to stay in the arms of the man he _loved_ forever.

Perhaps there will be the time when they explain everything to each other in detail, right now, though, it felt okay not to say anything and just enjoy each other's presence. Words were not enough to express it all anyways. They shifted into a more comfortable position, laying down together. Yugyeom buried his flushed face in Jinyoung's shoulder and the elder was caressing his back, drawing comforting circles with his fingers. He looked at Yugyeom's face and grabbed his chin.  
"Can I kiss you?" He asked, and younger just nodded eagerly, already squeezing his eyes shut in anticipation, which made Jinyoung smile. His lips barely brushed over Yugyeom's and the latter gripped Jinyoung's shirt tightly, his knuckles turning white.  
"Please..please hyung." He whispered desperately and Jinyoung closed his eyes, connecting their lips in a slow, deep kiss. They kissed feverishly, exploring each other's mouths and expressing all the love that has been hidden under _friends_ ' mask for such a long time. They pulled back, panting, Yugyeom's hand slipping under Jinyoung's shirt but the elder stopped him.  
"Baby, you need to keep in mind, that you are still drunk. I _want_ you too, you can't even imagine how much, but I wouldn't be able to do it knowing that you may regret it tomorrow." Jinyoung said while holding his hand tightly. Yugyeom pouted.  
"But hyung, don't you believe me?"  
" I do believe you, love. I just want us to do it when we are both sober and aware of everything, okay? Let's take this slow." He reassured him, caressing his cheek and giving him a short, sweet kiss. Yugyeom nodded in agreement and he hugged Jinyoung tighter.  
"Go to sleep now, Yugyeomie. You are tired." He whispered when Yugyeom cuddled up to him, and he kept caressing his back.  
"Will you still be in love with me in the morning?" Yugyeom asked, his voice small.  
"I always have and I always will."


End file.
